Police Scotland Tries to Cheer Up Phil

August 12, 2018
Posted by Dortju on

Police Scotland’s Chief Constable, Phil Grumpy, failed to have a laugh during South Queensferry’s summer Gala day when he tweetie’d “Officers on duty should show decorum”.

A recent serious of thefts and potentially fatal accidents on construction sites because chavs have been choring tools has resulted in a community outreach program by Police Scotland to local building companies and sole traders to tackle the problem.

This has resulted in more than a few innovative ideas. One being the barrel chase which if the seated offer shows he’s ‘pretty’ then high street pedestrians would forgive him for being pushed past them at a reasonable speed by his fellow colleague making the siren noise with his mouth.

When this idea was originally proposed at a meeting of senior police it was argued French Police had had measurable success having officers wear roller blades.

A local builder when asked commented “I can tell ya these Chavs are quick oan thir feet man and aye drastic measures are needed. In fact aye I’d luv ta see em cops try catch em in one ay they barries. I hink it’d be a hoot to watch n make up fir whatever the wee shites got cause they’re no coming back anytime soon wi that lot hinking up pish like this, but aye let’s bring it oan. I’ll bring the popcorn”

So the construction site high speed police chase has been born out of a cooperative effort of Police Scotland and the building industry and if Phil Grumpy can’t see the funny side of it, what’s it they say ‘Oan yir bike pal. Yir nah good ta me. Yir nah good to na cunt. Back ta the bru!’

 

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